The following is from an Internet message board conversation. It italicized part is three levels of previous dialog. That is followed by my response.
:::Speaking of...
: : : Given a choice would girls prefer a guy who is a virgin or someon who is experienced? [downside-an experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with]
: : : My mind is not working today.Hence this utterly cheesy topic.
: : Why don't get the ball rolling by saying what you prefer?
:
: Let me think. Romantically it would be great to be with a guy who is losing his virginity to you. I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.
:
: I would be cautious of guys who have been promiscuois before. God knows how many woemen thry have slpet with before you. It talks a lot about their nature too, that they are probably philanderes. Not to be trusted with marriage. But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.
: So if you wnat to just screw aruound and have fun-go for the non-virgin guys. If you want to marry and settel down-go for the simple virgins.
Y CHROMOSOME answers:
THIS IS CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF HOW A WOMAN IMPOSES HER OWN FEMALE ATTITUDES AND NATURE ON MEN. THE STATEMENTS I HAVE BOLDED ABOVE ARE FALSE FOR MEN IN GENERAL (THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS, OF COURSE). HOWEVER, THE BOLDED STATEMENTS ARE ALL TRUE FOR WOMEN. SINCE YOU ARE A WOMAN, YOU ARE IMPOSING YOUR OWN NATURE ON MEN, AND GETTING IT TOTALLY WRONG. WOMEN ALWAYS DO THIS MISTAKE.
YOU SAID: experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with
MEN CAN'T MULTI-TASK. THEY USUALLY CAN'T DO IT EVEN IN THOUGHTS. THAT IS THE REASON WHY IF YOU GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT TOO INTERESTED IN YOU, IT IS VERY OBVIOUS. IT IS ALSO VERY OBVIOUS WHEN A MAN CHECKS OUT OTHER WOMEN, WHEN HE IS WITH YOU. HE CAN'T MULTI-TASK AND KEEP YOU HUMORED, WHILE HIS MIND AND EYES WANDER.
ON THE OTHER HAND, A WOMAN CAN GO OUT MANY TIMES WITH A MAN SHE IS REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN. AND, SHE CAN ACT IN SUCH A WAY THAT NOBODY WOULD KNOW FOR SURE THAT SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM. SHE CAN ALSO CHECK OUT ALL THE OTHER MEN IN THE ROOM WITHOUT THE GUY KNOWING IT.
THE SAME LOGIC APPLIES TO SEX. WOMEN ARE OFTEN MORE GUILTY OF HAVING EXTERNAL FANTASIES DURING SEX, THAN MEN.
YOU WROTE THIS ABOUT A GUY WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH OTHERS AND WILL LOSE HIS VIRGINITY WITH YOU: I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.
ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT TRUE. THE CHANCES OF STRAYING BY A GUY WHO HAS HAD PRIOR EXPERIENCE, BUT TRULY LOVES YOU, IS MUCH MUCH LESSER THAN THE GUY WHO HAS HAD NO EXPERIENCE BEFORE. BY NATURE, MEN WANT TO HAVE VARIED EXPERIENCES. SO, A GUY WHO HAS HAD LESS PRIOR EXPERIENCES IS MORE LIKELY TO SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION, THAN THE ONE WHO HAS HAD MORE EXPERIENCE.
WOMEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE DIFFERENT. A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN LOOSE IN THE PAST, IS MORE LIKELY TO BE LOOSE IN THE FUTURE. WOMEN WHO LOSE THEIR CONTROL ONCE, ARE FAR MORE LIKELY TO LOSE IT AGAIN BECAUSE THE VALUE OF THE CONTROL WOULD HAVE DIMINISHED OR DISAPPEARED FROM THEIR MINDS. FOR WOMEN, ONCE BITTEN, NO MORE SHY.
YOU WROTE ABOUT EXPERIENCED MEN: But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.
IT IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE THAT EXPERIENCED MEN ARE BETTER THAN THOSE WITH NO EXPERIENCE. A BAD MALE LOVER MAY BE BAD NO MATTER HOW MANY EXPERIENCES HE HAS. THERE MAY BE SOME GUYS WHO START OUT BEING GOOD LOVERS, BUT THEN DETERIORATE OVER A PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO VARIOUS FACTORS - LACK OF ENTHUSIASM, BAD HEALTH, OLD AGE, CYNICISM, GETTING MECHANICAL ABOUT IT, ETC. AND I SUSPECT THAT THERE ARE ALSO GUYS ARE PRETTY GOOD LOVERS FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME. IN GENERAL, YOU WILL HAVE MORE FUN WITH A RELATIVELY LESS EXPERIENCED GUY, WHO IS CONSIDERATE, WANTS TO PLEASE AND IS WILLING TO LEARN.
BUT WHAT YOU SAID HOLDS TRUE FOR WOMEN. WOMEN WITH MORE EXPERIENCE ARE DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THOSE WITH LESS EXPERIENCE, WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. THE MORE EXPERIENCE A WOMAN HAS, THE BETTER SKILLED SHE BECOMES. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THERE ARE ONLY FEW EXCEPTIONS WHO DON'T LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE OR GET WORSE.
FINALLY, A RULE OF THUMB: IT IS USUALLY BETTER FOR A WOMAN TO MARRY THE FIRST GUY SHE SLEEPS WITH, AND IT IS ALWAYS BETTER FOR A MAN TO MARRY THE LAST WOMAN HE HAS SLEPT WITH.
HOPE THAT HELPS.
Showing posts with label Fundas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fundas. Show all posts
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
How to approach a guy/girl? - Funda
The best way to approach a strange guy or girl you are interested in, is to make friendly small talk.
It is as simple as that. Yet, it is amazing how many people don't realize this simple thing. Most of what is written below is applicable to the cases where the guy and the girl barely know each other. If the guy and girl already know each other, as friends or colleagues for example, things may be quite different.
We have all faced situations where we come across near-strangers whom we find attractive. Despite all our mental evolution, we are still very instinctual beings. Our instincts and emotions tell us that we like someone and want to be closer to them, long before we actually know them personally. Now, it should flow logically that the first step towards getting closer to someone is to get to know them better, and the first step to get to know someone better is to simply talk to them, and talk to them a lot, right? Yet, when it comes to romantic interest, our logical faculties seem to take a backseat!
From the time I was just a kid in school, I have seen so many guys try to figure out how they can approach a person they are interested in, but barely know. I have been one of those guys too. The typical approach Indian guys come up with: have their friend inform the girl about their interest, tell one of the girl's girlfriends and ask her to pass on the message, give her a love-letter declaring their undying love, and if not all that, eve-tease the girl! Unbelievable as it may seem, there are many misguided guys who eve-tease a girl, when all they want to do is express their romantic interest in her! And, a love-letter declaring undying love to someone you barely know is quite silly. Almost the same things happen when a girl wants to approach a guy she barely knows... except for the teasing part.
Indian guys and girls should forget all those old-fashioned, awkward methods. They should first learn to just talk to each other nicely, even if they are almost-strangers. We are all good at talking to people we already know, who are already our friends. The challenge is to learn to talk easily and with humor to strangers or almost-strangers. Talking to someone without being all over them physically or emotionally, without asking them for dinner soon after the first "hi", without declaring undying love during the very first talk, is what we need to do.
When we start talking, we get to know each other better. When we get to know each other better, we get more comfortable. When we are more comfortable and at ease, we are in a better position to judge and act. When two people talk, signals invariably get exchanged on many levels. If we have our eyes and ears open, we know better what to do, where to take the conversation and the relationship.
So, if you like someone, just talk to them. That's all there is to it. Just talk first. Talk about neutral subjects. Talk about each other as two people getting to know each other. Share jokes and opinions. Don't talk of romance yet. Keep that for later, until after you know each other really well. When it is time to talk about getting involved with each other romantically, you will know. If the other person does not express much interest in even getting to know you better, you know there is no need to bring up anything romantic later on. You can close the case gracefully and move on.
Whether things ultimately work out like you want it or not, talking first helps. That is the key.
It is as simple as that. Yet, it is amazing how many people don't realize this simple thing. Most of what is written below is applicable to the cases where the guy and the girl barely know each other. If the guy and girl already know each other, as friends or colleagues for example, things may be quite different.
We have all faced situations where we come across near-strangers whom we find attractive. Despite all our mental evolution, we are still very instinctual beings. Our instincts and emotions tell us that we like someone and want to be closer to them, long before we actually know them personally. Now, it should flow logically that the first step towards getting closer to someone is to get to know them better, and the first step to get to know someone better is to simply talk to them, and talk to them a lot, right? Yet, when it comes to romantic interest, our logical faculties seem to take a backseat!
From the time I was just a kid in school, I have seen so many guys try to figure out how they can approach a person they are interested in, but barely know. I have been one of those guys too. The typical approach Indian guys come up with: have their friend inform the girl about their interest, tell one of the girl's girlfriends and ask her to pass on the message, give her a love-letter declaring their undying love, and if not all that, eve-tease the girl! Unbelievable as it may seem, there are many misguided guys who eve-tease a girl, when all they want to do is express their romantic interest in her! And, a love-letter declaring undying love to someone you barely know is quite silly. Almost the same things happen when a girl wants to approach a guy she barely knows... except for the teasing part.
Indian guys and girls should forget all those old-fashioned, awkward methods. They should first learn to just talk to each other nicely, even if they are almost-strangers. We are all good at talking to people we already know, who are already our friends. The challenge is to learn to talk easily and with humor to strangers or almost-strangers. Talking to someone without being all over them physically or emotionally, without asking them for dinner soon after the first "hi", without declaring undying love during the very first talk, is what we need to do.
When we start talking, we get to know each other better. When we get to know each other better, we get more comfortable. When we are more comfortable and at ease, we are in a better position to judge and act. When two people talk, signals invariably get exchanged on many levels. If we have our eyes and ears open, we know better what to do, where to take the conversation and the relationship.
So, if you like someone, just talk to them. That's all there is to it. Just talk first. Talk about neutral subjects. Talk about each other as two people getting to know each other. Share jokes and opinions. Don't talk of romance yet. Keep that for later, until after you know each other really well. When it is time to talk about getting involved with each other romantically, you will know. If the other person does not express much interest in even getting to know you better, you know there is no need to bring up anything romantic later on. You can close the case gracefully and move on.
Whether things ultimately work out like you want it or not, talking first helps. That is the key.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Some bitches would rather kill...
Women argue and fight because they can. No other logical reason or motivation. Given a choice between arguing for 2 hours, without reaching any understanding or conclusion, making everything much worse, and the better choice of shutting up for a couple of minutes to reach true understanding, most women will consistently choose the former.
Some bitches would rather kill a man with non-stop arguments and fights, than shut up for a few minutes. One such bitch made life hell for my paternal grandfather and ultimately killed him with her arguments and fights.
Some bitches would rather kill a man with non-stop arguments and fights, than shut up for a few minutes. One such bitch made life hell for my paternal grandfather and ultimately killed him with her arguments and fights.
Arguments and Relationships
Practically speaking, there is no place for arguments in any relationship. Most relationships which work in practical ways and sustain for a long time, have little or no arguments. Let me explain.
Definition of an argument: Any disagreement over a single topic, which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences is an argument.
Eg: Y & XX are a couple, who want to buy a new car. Here's their conversation on how much to spend on a new car:
Y: We can afford to buy a new car which costs $35,000.
XX: No, we can only afford a car which costs $25,000.
Y: I just got this pay raise, we can afford the installments for a 35K car.
XX: We are expecting a baby in 6 months. We can only afford $25K or less.
Now, if this conversation goes beyond these four back and forth sentences with neither party giving in nor agreeing, it is an argument.
There is one of three ways this conversation could end:
1. One of the two persons might understand the other's point of view, agree with it and accept it.
2. One of the two persons might decide to compromise and let the other person have their way, despite not agreeing. "Let's agree to disagree, but let's compromise and move forward" principle.
3. Neither person agrees with the other nor compromises, and the back and forth sentences continue.
No. 1 is the ideal ending. No. 2 is the pragmatic ending. No. 3 is the argument.
In most relationships which work - personal or business, No. 1 and No. 2 happen very often. They are pretty common in the business world. If no. 2 (compromise) happens more often than no. 1 (agreement), especially if one person compromises more often than the other, the relationship might not last very long. We all like to be in relationships in which we can agree with the other person, in which the other person validates us and supports us.
No. 3 (argument) usually leads to a troublesome relationship. It is extremely rare that a conversation which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences (i. e., turns into an argument) has a productive ending. More often than not, nobody agrees or accepts, and compromises are rare and gruding, if at all. In most cases, the compromises are vague, temporary, fragile, and turn into future landmines for the relationship.
As such, arguments are a big waste of time and energy. Precious time and energy which could have been used to achieve something more productive, in a better relationship. Arguments serve no practical purpose. In fact, they are extremely harmful to personal health and relationship health.
So, in any relationship, it is best not to argue at all. If a conversation goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences, simply surrender, move forward and put it totally out of your mind (no chance at all of using it as future ammunition), if you can. If you can't surrender or move on or put it out of your mind, simply pull out of the transaction or relationship.
Definition of an argument: Any disagreement over a single topic, which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences is an argument.
Eg: Y & XX are a couple, who want to buy a new car. Here's their conversation on how much to spend on a new car:
Y: We can afford to buy a new car which costs $35,000.
XX: No, we can only afford a car which costs $25,000.
Y: I just got this pay raise, we can afford the installments for a 35K car.
XX: We are expecting a baby in 6 months. We can only afford $25K or less.
Now, if this conversation goes beyond these four back and forth sentences with neither party giving in nor agreeing, it is an argument.
There is one of three ways this conversation could end:
1. One of the two persons might understand the other's point of view, agree with it and accept it.
2. One of the two persons might decide to compromise and let the other person have their way, despite not agreeing. "Let's agree to disagree, but let's compromise and move forward" principle.
3. Neither person agrees with the other nor compromises, and the back and forth sentences continue.
No. 1 is the ideal ending. No. 2 is the pragmatic ending. No. 3 is the argument.
In most relationships which work - personal or business, No. 1 and No. 2 happen very often. They are pretty common in the business world. If no. 2 (compromise) happens more often than no. 1 (agreement), especially if one person compromises more often than the other, the relationship might not last very long. We all like to be in relationships in which we can agree with the other person, in which the other person validates us and supports us.
No. 3 (argument) usually leads to a troublesome relationship. It is extremely rare that a conversation which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences (i. e., turns into an argument) has a productive ending. More often than not, nobody agrees or accepts, and compromises are rare and gruding, if at all. In most cases, the compromises are vague, temporary, fragile, and turn into future landmines for the relationship.
As such, arguments are a big waste of time and energy. Precious time and energy which could have been used to achieve something more productive, in a better relationship. Arguments serve no practical purpose. In fact, they are extremely harmful to personal health and relationship health.
So, in any relationship, it is best not to argue at all. If a conversation goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences, simply surrender, move forward and put it totally out of your mind (no chance at all of using it as future ammunition), if you can. If you can't surrender or move on or put it out of your mind, simply pull out of the transaction or relationship.
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