Experienced Vs Non-experienced guys

The following is from an Internet message board conversation. It italicized part is three levels of previous dialog. That is followed by my response.


:::Speaking of...
: : : Given a choice would girls prefer a guy who is a virgin or someon who is experienced? [downside-an experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with]

: : : My mind is not working today.Hence this utterly cheesy topic.

: : Why don't get the ball rolling by saying what you prefer?

:
: Let me think. Romantically it would be great to be with a guy who is losing his virginity to you. I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.

:
: I would be cautious of guys who have been promiscuois before. God knows how many woemen thry have slpet with before you. It talks a lot about their nature too, that they are probably philanderes. Not to be trusted with marriage. But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.

: So if you wnat to just screw aruound and have fun-go for the non-virgin guys. If you want to marry and settel down-go for the simple virgins.



Y CHROMOSOME answers:
THIS IS CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF HOW A WOMAN IMPOSES HER OWN FEMALE ATTITUDES AND NATURE ON MEN. THE STATEMENTS I HAVE BOLDED ABOVE ARE FALSE FOR MEN IN GENERAL (THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS, OF COURSE). HOWEVER, THE BOLDED STATEMENTS ARE ALL TRUE FOR WOMEN. SINCE YOU ARE A WOMAN, YOU ARE IMPOSING YOUR OWN NATURE ON MEN, AND GETTING IT TOTALLY WRONG. WOMEN ALWAYS DO THIS MISTAKE.

YOU SAID: experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with

MEN CAN'T MULTI-TASK. THEY USUALLY CAN'T DO IT EVEN IN THOUGHTS. THAT IS THE REASON WHY IF YOU GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT TOO INTERESTED IN YOU, IT IS VERY OBVIOUS. IT IS ALSO VERY OBVIOUS WHEN A MAN CHECKS OUT OTHER WOMEN, WHEN HE IS WITH YOU. HE CAN'T MULTI-TASK AND KEEP YOU HUMORED, WHILE HIS MIND AND EYES WANDER.

ON THE OTHER HAND, A WOMAN CAN GO OUT MANY TIMES WITH A MAN SHE IS REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN. AND, SHE CAN ACT IN SUCH A WAY THAT NOBODY WOULD KNOW FOR SURE THAT SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM. SHE CAN ALSO CHECK OUT ALL THE OTHER MEN IN THE ROOM WITHOUT THE GUY KNOWING IT.

THE SAME LOGIC APPLIES TO SEX. WOMEN ARE OFTEN MORE GUILTY OF HAVING EXTERNAL FANTASIES DURING SEX, THAN MEN.

YOU WROTE THIS ABOUT A GUY WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH OTHERS AND WILL LOSE HIS VIRGINITY WITH YOU: I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.

ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT TRUE. THE CHANCES OF STRAYING BY A GUY WHO HAS HAD PRIOR EXPERIENCE, BUT TRULY LOVES YOU, IS MUCH MUCH LESSER THAN THE GUY WHO HAS HAD NO EXPERIENCE BEFORE. BY NATURE, MEN WANT TO HAVE VARIED EXPERIENCES. SO, A GUY WHO HAS HAD LESS PRIOR EXPERIENCES IS MORE LIKELY TO SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION, THAN THE ONE WHO HAS HAD MORE EXPERIENCE.

WOMEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE DIFFERENT. A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN LOOSE IN THE PAST, IS MORE LIKELY TO BE LOOSE IN THE FUTURE. WOMEN WHO LOSE THEIR CONTROL ONCE, ARE FAR MORE LIKELY TO LOSE IT AGAIN BECAUSE THE VALUE OF THE CONTROL WOULD HAVE DIMINISHED OR DISAPPEARED FROM THEIR MINDS. FOR WOMEN, ONCE BITTEN, NO MORE SHY.

YOU WROTE ABOUT EXPERIENCED MEN: But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.

IT IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE THAT EXPERIENCED MEN ARE BETTER THAN THOSE WITH NO EXPERIENCE. A BAD MALE LOVER MAY BE BAD NO MATTER HOW MANY EXPERIENCES HE HAS. THERE MAY BE SOME GUYS WHO START OUT BEING GOOD LOVERS, BUT THEN DETERIORATE OVER A PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO VARIOUS FACTORS - LACK OF ENTHUSIASM, BAD HEALTH, OLD AGE, CYNICISM, GETTING MECHANICAL ABOUT IT, ETC. AND I SUSPECT THAT THERE ARE ALSO GUYS ARE PRETTY GOOD LOVERS FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME. IN GENERAL, YOU WILL HAVE MORE FUN WITH A RELATIVELY LESS EXPERIENCED GUY, WHO IS CONSIDERATE, WANTS TO PLEASE AND IS WILLING TO LEARN.

BUT WHAT YOU SAID HOLDS TRUE FOR WOMEN. WOMEN WITH MORE EXPERIENCE ARE DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THOSE WITH LESS EXPERIENCE, WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. THE MORE EXPERIENCE A WOMAN HAS, THE BETTER SKILLED SHE BECOMES. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THERE ARE ONLY FEW EXCEPTIONS WHO DON'T LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE OR GET WORSE.

FINALLY, A RULE OF THUMB: IT IS USUALLY BETTER FOR A WOMAN TO MARRY THE FIRST GUY SHE SLEEPS WITH, AND IT IS ALWAYS BETTER FOR A MAN TO MARRY THE LAST WOMAN HE HAS SLEPT WITH.

HOPE THAT HELPS.

How to approach a guy/girl? - Suggestion

Recently, someone had this question:
I am interested in a guy. He expresses interest in speaking to me. But i really dont know how to approach him. Shall I ask him directly whether he likes me? or shall I wait till he comes to me?Any ideas are appreciated.

He works with me. He is a nice guy, behaves well with evrybody. We both were working on the same project, so we talk very frequently. I always find a chance to talk to him.I love it.

Y CHROMOSOME answers:
Alright. Since you know him to some extent, you have two choices: the step-by-step approach or the direct approach.

If you want to take the direct approach, ask him out for coffee, lunch or dinner. He will get the signal loud and clear. Depending on how he reacts, you can take it further.

If you want to take the step-by-step approach, there is something called "taking it to the next level". I am not suggesting take it to the next-to-next level, or to the next-to-the-power-of-n level. Just take it to the next level.

It looks like right now, you guys are merely colleagues who are civil to each other and talk mostly (only?) in the office. So, the next level for you is to talk outside the office. In the cafeteria? Go out for lunch? Go to the local starbucks for coffee? Walk with him to the parking lot or to the bus station or to the local train station? You don't even have to ask him out for lunch or coffee. You don't have to ask to walk with him to the parking lot or wherever. You can time it such that you are both in the same place, at the same time, more frequently.

The key in the step-by-step approach - whether the person is colleague, acquaintance or almost a stranger - is to talk more and talk about more diverse matters, increasing it gradually. Somewhere during all that talking, clear signals will invariably get exchanged between two people. After that, matters will proceed further or stop. Until then, don't talk about "like", "love", "relationship", etc.

In general, talking about "like", "love", "relationship" and stuff like that before you really know a person well on a personal level, before you are at least good friends, is not recommended. Talking about liking at this stage, does not fit in the step-by-step approach. And it is not really a direct approach. It is a foolhardy, dive-in-blind approach.

WYCGAW: Social etiquette FOR MEN

Question:
directed mostly towards women, but if you have been here in the US for a while and quite social, men may chip in too.

When a woman puts her cheek forward, are you supposed to kiss on the cheek or just touch with your cheek. This is for someone you don't know well but are friendly.

Y CHROMOSOME Answers:
WHEN IT COMES TO SOCIAL ETIQUETTE, THERE IS ONLY ONE RULE FOR MEN: WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH. ABBREVIATED AS WYCGAW, PRONOUNCED AS WHY-SEE-GAA!

THE FULL FORM OF THE RULE IS: WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH, WITHOUT PAYING TOO MUCH.

WE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US THAT. BUT THE QUESTION IS WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY? IT IS NO DIFFERENT FROM SHOPPING LOGIC. MEN ARE LOGICAL SHOPPERS. SO THE LOGIC OF SOCIAL ETIQUETTE MUST NOT BE TOUGH FOR THEM EITHER.

FIRST DECIDE HOW MUCH PAYMENT IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT FOR YOU PERSONALLY. ONCE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT FOR YOU, DO THE MAX THAT YOU CAN DO AND GET AWAY WITH, WITHOUT HAVING TO CROSS YOUR PAYMENT LIMIT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE. REAL MEN NEVER CARE ABOUT SOCIAL APPROPRIATENESS. YOU'D RATHER KISS HER LIPS? OR YOU WANT TO GRAB HER ASS? OR YOU WANT TO RUB YOUR FACE IN HER CLEAVAGE? GO RIGHT AHEAD, AS LONG AS THE PAYMENT IS NOT TOO HIGH FOR YOU!

FOR SOME WUSSY GUYS MERELY LOSING THEIR "GOOD GUY" IMAGE WITH THE FEMALE IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT. FOR MOST DECENT GUYS, GETTING SLAPPED IN PUBLIC IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT (MIGHT BE OKAY IN PRIVATE, ESPECIALLY IF THE SLAP LEADS TO SOME ROUGH BOINKAGE). FOR SOME GUYS GETTING JAILED IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT. THERE ARE GUYS WHO ARE EVEN WILLING TO GO TO JAIL, BUT GOING FOR LIFE OR GETTING KILLED IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT.

WHAT IS YOUR PAYMENT LIMIT? THAT SHOULD HELP YOU DECIDE WHAT TO DO.

HTH

PS: SOMETIMES WHEN YOU SEE A REALLY HOT RIDE OR WHEN YOU THINK YOU GOT A REALLY GOOD HAND, IT IS OKAY TO TAKE A CHANCE AND MAX OUT YOUR LIMIT. THAT IS WHAT REALLY SUCCESSFUL MEN DO.