There are more women who use men as intellectual whores, than there are men who treat women as nothing more than a piece of ass. Not only that, there are also more women who use men purely as a source of physical labor or free money.
These women keep the men around, manipulate them and use them, without giving anything in return, especially not giving sex. And no romance either, but screw romance! They use the men as a whore, but only in an intellectual manner. The keyword to watch out for is when a woman says she wants you to be her "friend". Another key phrase to watch out for is when she tells you that she "loves you, but is not in love with you".
It's disgusting! Any man who allows himself to be used like that is a loser. But most of the time, men don't even know that they are being used. And even when they know they are being used, they hang on with the hopes that they will get something one of these days. But they won't!
Most women know right from one of the first meetings, if they are ever going to give some to a man. If they think they will never give him some, they will never give him some, no matter what he does for them. On the other hand, if they decide that they will give some to a guy, they will give it to him, even if he does not bother too much about being a good guy or being nice to them. That is how women are. And whether they will give some to him or not give some to him, most women will not have any qualms in using the guy for their own selfish amusement or benefit. Bitches!
Men should refuse to be used by these women if they don't get what they want in return. Even if they get what they want, there is still no need to bend over backwards for these women. Like I said earlier, if a woman wants to give you some, she will give you some even if you don't bother spending too much effort in being a good boy. So the moment you realize that things are not going anywhere with a woman, just break away from her. The bitch is not worth a single moment or buck more.
I have nothing to say to those biggest losers of all - men who are resigned to the fact that they will not get anything from a woman, but still hang around, letting themselves be used, getting some masochistic pleasure out of it. They are the lowest of men!
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Happening Relationship
One of the worse things that can happen to a man in a romantic or marital relationship is to be the victim of the 'happening relationship'.
For women, a relationship is always a dynamic 'happening' thing. Meaning that from their perspective, something is always happening in the relationship. Even if nothing noticeable is happening externally, something goes on in their minds and imaginations. A man can never be sure what it is that is going on in their minds. And the worst part of it is that, if something good or great is not happening in the relationship, the only other alternative is that something bad is happening. At least, that is how it is in the minds of most women.
Thus, there may be a very stable relationship, in which the man thinks both of them know where they stand, what is expected of them and that they are completely committed to each other. A man may go on quietly and happily fulfilling his part of the bargain - working hard, bringing home the bread, providing his woman with money, taking her to dinners and parties, doing his bit around the house, even doing and providing exactly what she has said she wants. And during this seemingly stable and steady domestic life, something turbulent could be brewing in the woman's mind and heart. She could be imagining that he no longer loves her or that she is no longer in love with him; she could think that he is neglecting her or taking her for granted or not valuing her enough or not doing enough for her; she could be wondering if he is having an affair or if she should have an affair; she might be questioning if he still finds her attractive and at the same time, critically evaluating him. The poor man may think that he is in a strong, steady relationship and that it is okay for him to sometimes not dress properly in the privacy of his own home, or sometimes show her his hairy ass, or kiss her with bad breath, or reveal his weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. Where as, the woman would be noticing and taking note of all these factors, and weighing them up in her constant evaluation of the relationship and her own life.
Thus, one fine day, out of the blue, the man is told that she is no longer in love with him, or that she no longer finds him attractive, or that she has been having an affair with someone, or that she is in love with somebody else, or that she wants to leave him. The poor guy never sees it coming. It takes time for the news to sink in, and the guy never fully learns what went wrong. Men think logically, where as there is often not much logic in the thoughts and actions of women. So, the man might try to logically understand why she did what she did, but he'd just fail at it, ending up feeling miserable, broken-hearted and losing a lot (especially if they were married and it ends in a divorce).
The end-scenarios I described above happen pretty often. I have noticed married women having affairs, while their husbands went about living the married life thinking that everything was fine in their family and home.
The unexpected, unknown and never understood "happening" in the mind/imagination of the woman, takes place in almost every romantic relationship out there. Every man is its victim at one time or the other. The end-result may not be the same as the ones I have described above - the woman may not always do something so drastic and dramatic as break the relationship or have an affair. But what happens most often is for the woman to be bitchy, moody, unhappy, complaining, nagging, arguing, fighting, uncooperative for no reason that the guy can fathom. How many men have not had to deal with this in a relationship?
The worst part is that, there is simply nothing a guy can do to avoid these things... except to avoid a steady romantic relationship itself. I mean, this "happening" in the mind of the woman, takes place no matter what the circumstances of the couple are. They may be rich or poor, healthy or ill, educated or uneducated, young or old, have kids or not, be married or not, the guy may be good or bad, he could be caring or not, he might provide all she wants or he might not. It just doesn't matter. The active imagination of the woman will see something or the other 'happening' in the relationship. And like I said, if the something that's happening is not positive or a happy thing, then it automatically defaults to being a negative and unhappy thing. As far as a relationship is concerned, there is no neutral ground in a woman's mind.
Have you been a victim of A happening relationship? Or do you know of someone who is? Leave a comment.
For women, a relationship is always a dynamic 'happening' thing. Meaning that from their perspective, something is always happening in the relationship. Even if nothing noticeable is happening externally, something goes on in their minds and imaginations. A man can never be sure what it is that is going on in their minds. And the worst part of it is that, if something good or great is not happening in the relationship, the only other alternative is that something bad is happening. At least, that is how it is in the minds of most women.
Thus, there may be a very stable relationship, in which the man thinks both of them know where they stand, what is expected of them and that they are completely committed to each other. A man may go on quietly and happily fulfilling his part of the bargain - working hard, bringing home the bread, providing his woman with money, taking her to dinners and parties, doing his bit around the house, even doing and providing exactly what she has said she wants. And during this seemingly stable and steady domestic life, something turbulent could be brewing in the woman's mind and heart. She could be imagining that he no longer loves her or that she is no longer in love with him; she could think that he is neglecting her or taking her for granted or not valuing her enough or not doing enough for her; she could be wondering if he is having an affair or if she should have an affair; she might be questioning if he still finds her attractive and at the same time, critically evaluating him. The poor man may think that he is in a strong, steady relationship and that it is okay for him to sometimes not dress properly in the privacy of his own home, or sometimes show her his hairy ass, or kiss her with bad breath, or reveal his weaknesses and idiosyncrasies. Where as, the woman would be noticing and taking note of all these factors, and weighing them up in her constant evaluation of the relationship and her own life.
Thus, one fine day, out of the blue, the man is told that she is no longer in love with him, or that she no longer finds him attractive, or that she has been having an affair with someone, or that she is in love with somebody else, or that she wants to leave him. The poor guy never sees it coming. It takes time for the news to sink in, and the guy never fully learns what went wrong. Men think logically, where as there is often not much logic in the thoughts and actions of women. So, the man might try to logically understand why she did what she did, but he'd just fail at it, ending up feeling miserable, broken-hearted and losing a lot (especially if they were married and it ends in a divorce).
The end-scenarios I described above happen pretty often. I have noticed married women having affairs, while their husbands went about living the married life thinking that everything was fine in their family and home.
The unexpected, unknown and never understood "happening" in the mind/imagination of the woman, takes place in almost every romantic relationship out there. Every man is its victim at one time or the other. The end-result may not be the same as the ones I have described above - the woman may not always do something so drastic and dramatic as break the relationship or have an affair. But what happens most often is for the woman to be bitchy, moody, unhappy, complaining, nagging, arguing, fighting, uncooperative for no reason that the guy can fathom. How many men have not had to deal with this in a relationship?
The worst part is that, there is simply nothing a guy can do to avoid these things... except to avoid a steady romantic relationship itself. I mean, this "happening" in the mind of the woman, takes place no matter what the circumstances of the couple are. They may be rich or poor, healthy or ill, educated or uneducated, young or old, have kids or not, be married or not, the guy may be good or bad, he could be caring or not, he might provide all she wants or he might not. It just doesn't matter. The active imagination of the woman will see something or the other 'happening' in the relationship. And like I said, if the something that's happening is not positive or a happy thing, then it automatically defaults to being a negative and unhappy thing. As far as a relationship is concerned, there is no neutral ground in a woman's mind.
Have you been a victim of A happening relationship? Or do you know of someone who is? Leave a comment.
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Experienced Vs Non-experienced guys
The following is from an Internet message board conversation. It italicized part is three levels of previous dialog. That is followed by my response.
:::Speaking of...
: : : Given a choice would girls prefer a guy who is a virgin or someon who is experienced? [downside-an experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with]
: : : My mind is not working today.Hence this utterly cheesy topic.
: : Why don't get the ball rolling by saying what you prefer?
:
: Let me think. Romantically it would be great to be with a guy who is losing his virginity to you. I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.
:
: I would be cautious of guys who have been promiscuois before. God knows how many woemen thry have slpet with before you. It talks a lot about their nature too, that they are probably philanderes. Not to be trusted with marriage. But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.
: So if you wnat to just screw aruound and have fun-go for the non-virgin guys. If you want to marry and settel down-go for the simple virgins.
Y CHROMOSOME answers:
THIS IS CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF HOW A WOMAN IMPOSES HER OWN FEMALE ATTITUDES AND NATURE ON MEN. THE STATEMENTS I HAVE BOLDED ABOVE ARE FALSE FOR MEN IN GENERAL (THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS, OF COURSE). HOWEVER, THE BOLDED STATEMENTS ARE ALL TRUE FOR WOMEN. SINCE YOU ARE A WOMAN, YOU ARE IMPOSING YOUR OWN NATURE ON MEN, AND GETTING IT TOTALLY WRONG. WOMEN ALWAYS DO THIS MISTAKE.
YOU SAID: experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with
MEN CAN'T MULTI-TASK. THEY USUALLY CAN'T DO IT EVEN IN THOUGHTS. THAT IS THE REASON WHY IF YOU GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT TOO INTERESTED IN YOU, IT IS VERY OBVIOUS. IT IS ALSO VERY OBVIOUS WHEN A MAN CHECKS OUT OTHER WOMEN, WHEN HE IS WITH YOU. HE CAN'T MULTI-TASK AND KEEP YOU HUMORED, WHILE HIS MIND AND EYES WANDER.
ON THE OTHER HAND, A WOMAN CAN GO OUT MANY TIMES WITH A MAN SHE IS REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN. AND, SHE CAN ACT IN SUCH A WAY THAT NOBODY WOULD KNOW FOR SURE THAT SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM. SHE CAN ALSO CHECK OUT ALL THE OTHER MEN IN THE ROOM WITHOUT THE GUY KNOWING IT.
THE SAME LOGIC APPLIES TO SEX. WOMEN ARE OFTEN MORE GUILTY OF HAVING EXTERNAL FANTASIES DURING SEX, THAN MEN.
YOU WROTE THIS ABOUT A GUY WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH OTHERS AND WILL LOSE HIS VIRGINITY WITH YOU: I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.
ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT TRUE. THE CHANCES OF STRAYING BY A GUY WHO HAS HAD PRIOR EXPERIENCE, BUT TRULY LOVES YOU, IS MUCH MUCH LESSER THAN THE GUY WHO HAS HAD NO EXPERIENCE BEFORE. BY NATURE, MEN WANT TO HAVE VARIED EXPERIENCES. SO, A GUY WHO HAS HAD LESS PRIOR EXPERIENCES IS MORE LIKELY TO SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION, THAN THE ONE WHO HAS HAD MORE EXPERIENCE.
WOMEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE DIFFERENT. A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN LOOSE IN THE PAST, IS MORE LIKELY TO BE LOOSE IN THE FUTURE. WOMEN WHO LOSE THEIR CONTROL ONCE, ARE FAR MORE LIKELY TO LOSE IT AGAIN BECAUSE THE VALUE OF THE CONTROL WOULD HAVE DIMINISHED OR DISAPPEARED FROM THEIR MINDS. FOR WOMEN, ONCE BITTEN, NO MORE SHY.
YOU WROTE ABOUT EXPERIENCED MEN: But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.
IT IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE THAT EXPERIENCED MEN ARE BETTER THAN THOSE WITH NO EXPERIENCE. A BAD MALE LOVER MAY BE BAD NO MATTER HOW MANY EXPERIENCES HE HAS. THERE MAY BE SOME GUYS WHO START OUT BEING GOOD LOVERS, BUT THEN DETERIORATE OVER A PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO VARIOUS FACTORS - LACK OF ENTHUSIASM, BAD HEALTH, OLD AGE, CYNICISM, GETTING MECHANICAL ABOUT IT, ETC. AND I SUSPECT THAT THERE ARE ALSO GUYS ARE PRETTY GOOD LOVERS FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME. IN GENERAL, YOU WILL HAVE MORE FUN WITH A RELATIVELY LESS EXPERIENCED GUY, WHO IS CONSIDERATE, WANTS TO PLEASE AND IS WILLING TO LEARN.
BUT WHAT YOU SAID HOLDS TRUE FOR WOMEN. WOMEN WITH MORE EXPERIENCE ARE DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THOSE WITH LESS EXPERIENCE, WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. THE MORE EXPERIENCE A WOMAN HAS, THE BETTER SKILLED SHE BECOMES. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THERE ARE ONLY FEW EXCEPTIONS WHO DON'T LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE OR GET WORSE.
FINALLY, A RULE OF THUMB: IT IS USUALLY BETTER FOR A WOMAN TO MARRY THE FIRST GUY SHE SLEEPS WITH, AND IT IS ALWAYS BETTER FOR A MAN TO MARRY THE LAST WOMAN HE HAS SLEPT WITH.
HOPE THAT HELPS.
:::Speaking of...
: : : Given a choice would girls prefer a guy who is a virgin or someon who is experienced? [downside-an experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with]
: : : My mind is not working today.Hence this utterly cheesy topic.
: : Why don't get the ball rolling by saying what you prefer?
:
: Let me think. Romantically it would be great to be with a guy who is losing his virginity to you. I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.
:
: I would be cautious of guys who have been promiscuois before. God knows how many woemen thry have slpet with before you. It talks a lot about their nature too, that they are probably philanderes. Not to be trusted with marriage. But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.
: So if you wnat to just screw aruound and have fun-go for the non-virgin guys. If you want to marry and settel down-go for the simple virgins.
Y CHROMOSOME answers:
THIS IS CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF HOW A WOMAN IMPOSES HER OWN FEMALE ATTITUDES AND NATURE ON MEN. THE STATEMENTS I HAVE BOLDED ABOVE ARE FALSE FOR MEN IN GENERAL (THERE ARE ALWAYS EXCEPTIONS, OF COURSE). HOWEVER, THE BOLDED STATEMENTS ARE ALL TRUE FOR WOMEN. SINCE YOU ARE A WOMAN, YOU ARE IMPOSING YOUR OWN NATURE ON MEN, AND GETTING IT TOTALLY WRONG. WOMEN ALWAYS DO THIS MISTAKE.
YOU SAID: experienced guy would always be thinking of other women he has slept with
MEN CAN'T MULTI-TASK. THEY USUALLY CAN'T DO IT EVEN IN THOUGHTS. THAT IS THE REASON WHY IF YOU GO OUT WITH A MAN WHO IS NOT TOO INTERESTED IN YOU, IT IS VERY OBVIOUS. IT IS ALSO VERY OBVIOUS WHEN A MAN CHECKS OUT OTHER WOMEN, WHEN HE IS WITH YOU. HE CAN'T MULTI-TASK AND KEEP YOU HUMORED, WHILE HIS MIND AND EYES WANDER.
ON THE OTHER HAND, A WOMAN CAN GO OUT MANY TIMES WITH A MAN SHE IS REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN. AND, SHE CAN ACT IN SUCH A WAY THAT NOBODY WOULD KNOW FOR SURE THAT SHE IS NOT INTERESTED IN HIM. SHE CAN ALSO CHECK OUT ALL THE OTHER MEN IN THE ROOM WITHOUT THE GUY KNOWING IT.
THE SAME LOGIC APPLIES TO SEX. WOMEN ARE OFTEN MORE GUILTY OF HAVING EXTERNAL FANTASIES DURING SEX, THAN MEN.
YOU WROTE THIS ABOUT A GUY WHO HAS NOT SLEPT WITH OTHERS AND WILL LOSE HIS VIRGINITY WITH YOU: I think he will be more faithful. He will make a better husband.
ONCE AGAIN THIS IS NOT TRUE. THE CHANCES OF STRAYING BY A GUY WHO HAS HAD PRIOR EXPERIENCE, BUT TRULY LOVES YOU, IS MUCH MUCH LESSER THAN THE GUY WHO HAS HAD NO EXPERIENCE BEFORE. BY NATURE, MEN WANT TO HAVE VARIED EXPERIENCES. SO, A GUY WHO HAS HAD LESS PRIOR EXPERIENCES IS MORE LIKELY TO SUCCUMB TO TEMPTATION, THAN THE ONE WHO HAS HAD MORE EXPERIENCE.
WOMEN, ON THE OTHER HAND, ARE DIFFERENT. A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN LOOSE IN THE PAST, IS MORE LIKELY TO BE LOOSE IN THE FUTURE. WOMEN WHO LOSE THEIR CONTROL ONCE, ARE FAR MORE LIKELY TO LOSE IT AGAIN BECAUSE THE VALUE OF THE CONTROL WOULD HAVE DIMINISHED OR DISAPPEARED FROM THEIR MINDS. FOR WOMEN, ONCE BITTEN, NO MORE SHY.
YOU WROTE ABOUT EXPERIENCED MEN: But then, on the positive side they would probably be slightly better in bed.
IT IS NOT NECESSARILY TRUE THAT EXPERIENCED MEN ARE BETTER THAN THOSE WITH NO EXPERIENCE. A BAD MALE LOVER MAY BE BAD NO MATTER HOW MANY EXPERIENCES HE HAS. THERE MAY BE SOME GUYS WHO START OUT BEING GOOD LOVERS, BUT THEN DETERIORATE OVER A PERIOD OF TIME DUE TO VARIOUS FACTORS - LACK OF ENTHUSIASM, BAD HEALTH, OLD AGE, CYNICISM, GETTING MECHANICAL ABOUT IT, ETC. AND I SUSPECT THAT THERE ARE ALSO GUYS ARE PRETTY GOOD LOVERS FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME. IN GENERAL, YOU WILL HAVE MORE FUN WITH A RELATIVELY LESS EXPERIENCED GUY, WHO IS CONSIDERATE, WANTS TO PLEASE AND IS WILLING TO LEARN.
BUT WHAT YOU SAID HOLDS TRUE FOR WOMEN. WOMEN WITH MORE EXPERIENCE ARE DEFINITELY BETTER THAN THOSE WITH LESS EXPERIENCE, WHEN IT COMES TO SEX. THE MORE EXPERIENCE A WOMAN HAS, THE BETTER SKILLED SHE BECOMES. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. THERE ARE ONLY FEW EXCEPTIONS WHO DON'T LEARN FROM EXPERIENCE OR GET WORSE.
FINALLY, A RULE OF THUMB: IT IS USUALLY BETTER FOR A WOMAN TO MARRY THE FIRST GUY SHE SLEEPS WITH, AND IT IS ALWAYS BETTER FOR A MAN TO MARRY THE LAST WOMAN HE HAS SLEPT WITH.
HOPE THAT HELPS.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
How to approach a guy/girl? - Funda
The best way to approach a strange guy or girl you are interested in, is to make friendly small talk.
It is as simple as that. Yet, it is amazing how many people don't realize this simple thing. Most of what is written below is applicable to the cases where the guy and the girl barely know each other. If the guy and girl already know each other, as friends or colleagues for example, things may be quite different.
We have all faced situations where we come across near-strangers whom we find attractive. Despite all our mental evolution, we are still very instinctual beings. Our instincts and emotions tell us that we like someone and want to be closer to them, long before we actually know them personally. Now, it should flow logically that the first step towards getting closer to someone is to get to know them better, and the first step to get to know someone better is to simply talk to them, and talk to them a lot, right? Yet, when it comes to romantic interest, our logical faculties seem to take a backseat!
From the time I was just a kid in school, I have seen so many guys try to figure out how they can approach a person they are interested in, but barely know. I have been one of those guys too. The typical approach Indian guys come up with: have their friend inform the girl about their interest, tell one of the girl's girlfriends and ask her to pass on the message, give her a love-letter declaring their undying love, and if not all that, eve-tease the girl! Unbelievable as it may seem, there are many misguided guys who eve-tease a girl, when all they want to do is express their romantic interest in her! And, a love-letter declaring undying love to someone you barely know is quite silly. Almost the same things happen when a girl wants to approach a guy she barely knows... except for the teasing part.
Indian guys and girls should forget all those old-fashioned, awkward methods. They should first learn to just talk to each other nicely, even if they are almost-strangers. We are all good at talking to people we already know, who are already our friends. The challenge is to learn to talk easily and with humor to strangers or almost-strangers. Talking to someone without being all over them physically or emotionally, without asking them for dinner soon after the first "hi", without declaring undying love during the very first talk, is what we need to do.
When we start talking, we get to know each other better. When we get to know each other better, we get more comfortable. When we are more comfortable and at ease, we are in a better position to judge and act. When two people talk, signals invariably get exchanged on many levels. If we have our eyes and ears open, we know better what to do, where to take the conversation and the relationship.
So, if you like someone, just talk to them. That's all there is to it. Just talk first. Talk about neutral subjects. Talk about each other as two people getting to know each other. Share jokes and opinions. Don't talk of romance yet. Keep that for later, until after you know each other really well. When it is time to talk about getting involved with each other romantically, you will know. If the other person does not express much interest in even getting to know you better, you know there is no need to bring up anything romantic later on. You can close the case gracefully and move on.
Whether things ultimately work out like you want it or not, talking first helps. That is the key.
It is as simple as that. Yet, it is amazing how many people don't realize this simple thing. Most of what is written below is applicable to the cases where the guy and the girl barely know each other. If the guy and girl already know each other, as friends or colleagues for example, things may be quite different.
We have all faced situations where we come across near-strangers whom we find attractive. Despite all our mental evolution, we are still very instinctual beings. Our instincts and emotions tell us that we like someone and want to be closer to them, long before we actually know them personally. Now, it should flow logically that the first step towards getting closer to someone is to get to know them better, and the first step to get to know someone better is to simply talk to them, and talk to them a lot, right? Yet, when it comes to romantic interest, our logical faculties seem to take a backseat!
From the time I was just a kid in school, I have seen so many guys try to figure out how they can approach a person they are interested in, but barely know. I have been one of those guys too. The typical approach Indian guys come up with: have their friend inform the girl about their interest, tell one of the girl's girlfriends and ask her to pass on the message, give her a love-letter declaring their undying love, and if not all that, eve-tease the girl! Unbelievable as it may seem, there are many misguided guys who eve-tease a girl, when all they want to do is express their romantic interest in her! And, a love-letter declaring undying love to someone you barely know is quite silly. Almost the same things happen when a girl wants to approach a guy she barely knows... except for the teasing part.
Indian guys and girls should forget all those old-fashioned, awkward methods. They should first learn to just talk to each other nicely, even if they are almost-strangers. We are all good at talking to people we already know, who are already our friends. The challenge is to learn to talk easily and with humor to strangers or almost-strangers. Talking to someone without being all over them physically or emotionally, without asking them for dinner soon after the first "hi", without declaring undying love during the very first talk, is what we need to do.
When we start talking, we get to know each other better. When we get to know each other better, we get more comfortable. When we are more comfortable and at ease, we are in a better position to judge and act. When two people talk, signals invariably get exchanged on many levels. If we have our eyes and ears open, we know better what to do, where to take the conversation and the relationship.
So, if you like someone, just talk to them. That's all there is to it. Just talk first. Talk about neutral subjects. Talk about each other as two people getting to know each other. Share jokes and opinions. Don't talk of romance yet. Keep that for later, until after you know each other really well. When it is time to talk about getting involved with each other romantically, you will know. If the other person does not express much interest in even getting to know you better, you know there is no need to bring up anything romantic later on. You can close the case gracefully and move on.
Whether things ultimately work out like you want it or not, talking first helps. That is the key.
How to approach a guy/girl? - Suggestion
Recently, someone had this question:
I am interested in a guy. He expresses interest in speaking to me. But i really dont know how to approach him. Shall I ask him directly whether he likes me? or shall I wait till he comes to me?Any ideas are appreciated.
He works with me. He is a nice guy, behaves well with evrybody. We both were working on the same project, so we talk very frequently. I always find a chance to talk to him.I love it.
Y CHROMOSOME answers:
Alright. Since you know him to some extent, you have two choices: the step-by-step approach or the direct approach.
If you want to take the direct approach, ask him out for coffee, lunch or dinner. He will get the signal loud and clear. Depending on how he reacts, you can take it further.
If you want to take the step-by-step approach, there is something called "taking it to the next level". I am not suggesting take it to the next-to-next level, or to the next-to-the-power-of-n level. Just take it to the next level.
It looks like right now, you guys are merely colleagues who are civil to each other and talk mostly (only?) in the office. So, the next level for you is to talk outside the office. In the cafeteria? Go out for lunch? Go to the local starbucks for coffee? Walk with him to the parking lot or to the bus station or to the local train station? You don't even have to ask him out for lunch or coffee. You don't have to ask to walk with him to the parking lot or wherever. You can time it such that you are both in the same place, at the same time, more frequently.
The key in the step-by-step approach - whether the person is colleague, acquaintance or almost a stranger - is to talk more and talk about more diverse matters, increasing it gradually. Somewhere during all that talking, clear signals will invariably get exchanged between two people. After that, matters will proceed further or stop. Until then, don't talk about "like", "love", "relationship", etc.
In general, talking about "like", "love", "relationship" and stuff like that before you really know a person well on a personal level, before you are at least good friends, is not recommended. Talking about liking at this stage, does not fit in the step-by-step approach. And it is not really a direct approach. It is a foolhardy, dive-in-blind approach.
I am interested in a guy. He expresses interest in speaking to me. But i really dont know how to approach him. Shall I ask him directly whether he likes me? or shall I wait till he comes to me?Any ideas are appreciated.
He works with me. He is a nice guy, behaves well with evrybody. We both were working on the same project, so we talk very frequently. I always find a chance to talk to him.I love it.
Y CHROMOSOME answers:
Alright. Since you know him to some extent, you have two choices: the step-by-step approach or the direct approach.
If you want to take the direct approach, ask him out for coffee, lunch or dinner. He will get the signal loud and clear. Depending on how he reacts, you can take it further.
If you want to take the step-by-step approach, there is something called "taking it to the next level". I am not suggesting take it to the next-to-next level, or to the next-to-the-power-of-n level. Just take it to the next level.
It looks like right now, you guys are merely colleagues who are civil to each other and talk mostly (only?) in the office. So, the next level for you is to talk outside the office. In the cafeteria? Go out for lunch? Go to the local starbucks for coffee? Walk with him to the parking lot or to the bus station or to the local train station? You don't even have to ask him out for lunch or coffee. You don't have to ask to walk with him to the parking lot or wherever. You can time it such that you are both in the same place, at the same time, more frequently.
The key in the step-by-step approach - whether the person is colleague, acquaintance or almost a stranger - is to talk more and talk about more diverse matters, increasing it gradually. Somewhere during all that talking, clear signals will invariably get exchanged between two people. After that, matters will proceed further or stop. Until then, don't talk about "like", "love", "relationship", etc.
In general, talking about "like", "love", "relationship" and stuff like that before you really know a person well on a personal level, before you are at least good friends, is not recommended. Talking about liking at this stage, does not fit in the step-by-step approach. And it is not really a direct approach. It is a foolhardy, dive-in-blind approach.
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Some bitches would rather kill...
Women argue and fight because they can. No other logical reason or motivation. Given a choice between arguing for 2 hours, without reaching any understanding or conclusion, making everything much worse, and the better choice of shutting up for a couple of minutes to reach true understanding, most women will consistently choose the former.
Some bitches would rather kill a man with non-stop arguments and fights, than shut up for a few minutes. One such bitch made life hell for my paternal grandfather and ultimately killed him with her arguments and fights.
Some bitches would rather kill a man with non-stop arguments and fights, than shut up for a few minutes. One such bitch made life hell for my paternal grandfather and ultimately killed him with her arguments and fights.
Arguments and Relationships
Practically speaking, there is no place for arguments in any relationship. Most relationships which work in practical ways and sustain for a long time, have little or no arguments. Let me explain.
Definition of an argument: Any disagreement over a single topic, which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences is an argument.
Eg: Y & XX are a couple, who want to buy a new car. Here's their conversation on how much to spend on a new car:
Y: We can afford to buy a new car which costs $35,000.
XX: No, we can only afford a car which costs $25,000.
Y: I just got this pay raise, we can afford the installments for a 35K car.
XX: We are expecting a baby in 6 months. We can only afford $25K or less.
Now, if this conversation goes beyond these four back and forth sentences with neither party giving in nor agreeing, it is an argument.
There is one of three ways this conversation could end:
1. One of the two persons might understand the other's point of view, agree with it and accept it.
2. One of the two persons might decide to compromise and let the other person have their way, despite not agreeing. "Let's agree to disagree, but let's compromise and move forward" principle.
3. Neither person agrees with the other nor compromises, and the back and forth sentences continue.
No. 1 is the ideal ending. No. 2 is the pragmatic ending. No. 3 is the argument.
In most relationships which work - personal or business, No. 1 and No. 2 happen very often. They are pretty common in the business world. If no. 2 (compromise) happens more often than no. 1 (agreement), especially if one person compromises more often than the other, the relationship might not last very long. We all like to be in relationships in which we can agree with the other person, in which the other person validates us and supports us.
No. 3 (argument) usually leads to a troublesome relationship. It is extremely rare that a conversation which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences (i. e., turns into an argument) has a productive ending. More often than not, nobody agrees or accepts, and compromises are rare and gruding, if at all. In most cases, the compromises are vague, temporary, fragile, and turn into future landmines for the relationship.
As such, arguments are a big waste of time and energy. Precious time and energy which could have been used to achieve something more productive, in a better relationship. Arguments serve no practical purpose. In fact, they are extremely harmful to personal health and relationship health.
So, in any relationship, it is best not to argue at all. If a conversation goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences, simply surrender, move forward and put it totally out of your mind (no chance at all of using it as future ammunition), if you can. If you can't surrender or move on or put it out of your mind, simply pull out of the transaction or relationship.
Definition of an argument: Any disagreement over a single topic, which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences is an argument.
Eg: Y & XX are a couple, who want to buy a new car. Here's their conversation on how much to spend on a new car:
Y: We can afford to buy a new car which costs $35,000.
XX: No, we can only afford a car which costs $25,000.
Y: I just got this pay raise, we can afford the installments for a 35K car.
XX: We are expecting a baby in 6 months. We can only afford $25K or less.
Now, if this conversation goes beyond these four back and forth sentences with neither party giving in nor agreeing, it is an argument.
There is one of three ways this conversation could end:
1. One of the two persons might understand the other's point of view, agree with it and accept it.
2. One of the two persons might decide to compromise and let the other person have their way, despite not agreeing. "Let's agree to disagree, but let's compromise and move forward" principle.
3. Neither person agrees with the other nor compromises, and the back and forth sentences continue.
No. 1 is the ideal ending. No. 2 is the pragmatic ending. No. 3 is the argument.
In most relationships which work - personal or business, No. 1 and No. 2 happen very often. They are pretty common in the business world. If no. 2 (compromise) happens more often than no. 1 (agreement), especially if one person compromises more often than the other, the relationship might not last very long. We all like to be in relationships in which we can agree with the other person, in which the other person validates us and supports us.
No. 3 (argument) usually leads to a troublesome relationship. It is extremely rare that a conversation which goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences (i. e., turns into an argument) has a productive ending. More often than not, nobody agrees or accepts, and compromises are rare and gruding, if at all. In most cases, the compromises are vague, temporary, fragile, and turn into future landmines for the relationship.
As such, arguments are a big waste of time and energy. Precious time and energy which could have been used to achieve something more productive, in a better relationship. Arguments serve no practical purpose. In fact, they are extremely harmful to personal health and relationship health.
So, in any relationship, it is best not to argue at all. If a conversation goes beyond 4 back and forth sentences, simply surrender, move forward and put it totally out of your mind (no chance at all of using it as future ammunition), if you can. If you can't surrender or move on or put it out of your mind, simply pull out of the transaction or relationship.
How to win an argument with a woman?
The only way for a man to win an argument with a woman is not to argue at all. Just leave and do what you want to do. That's all there is to it.
1. Men argue because they care. Women argue because they can.
2. Men's arguments are guided by logic. Women's arguments are governed by emotions.
For those two reasons, men can never talk and win an argument with a woman. So, the choices for men are pretty simple and obvious:
1. Men argue because they care. Women argue because they can.
2. Men's arguments are guided by logic. Women's arguments are governed by emotions.
For those two reasons, men can never talk and win an argument with a woman. So, the choices for men are pretty simple and obvious:
- Argue and lose the argument. PLUS, lose your sanity, honor and life.
- Shut up, surrender and lose the argument. The rest of it could go either way.
- Leave and do your own thing. Keep your sanity, honor and life intact.
Y CHROMOSOME
Y CHROMOSOME's is the uncompromising, unhibited, true MALE view of things. There are no assurances of being nice or decent. But there is certainly a promise to be true always.
The purpose of this blog is to be a Mirror for Men and a Microscope for Women. The mirror will help men to know and improve themselves as Men. The microscope will help women to see and understand men as Men.
The purpose of this blog is to be a Mirror for Men and a Microscope for Women. The mirror will help men to know and improve themselves as Men. The microscope will help women to see and understand men as Men.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
WYCGAW: Social etiquette FOR MEN
Question:
directed mostly towards women, but if you have been here in the US for a while and quite social, men may chip in too.
When a woman puts her cheek forward, are you supposed to kiss on the cheek or just touch with your cheek. This is for someone you don't know well but are friendly.
Y CHROMOSOME Answers:
WHEN IT COMES TO SOCIAL ETIQUETTE, THERE IS ONLY ONE RULE FOR MEN: WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH. ABBREVIATED AS WYCGAW, PRONOUNCED AS WHY-SEE-GAA!
THE FULL FORM OF THE RULE IS: WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH, WITHOUT PAYING TOO MUCH.
WE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US THAT. BUT THE QUESTION IS WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY? IT IS NO DIFFERENT FROM SHOPPING LOGIC. MEN ARE LOGICAL SHOPPERS. SO THE LOGIC OF SOCIAL ETIQUETTE MUST NOT BE TOUGH FOR THEM EITHER.
FIRST DECIDE HOW MUCH PAYMENT IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT FOR YOU PERSONALLY. ONCE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT FOR YOU, DO THE MAX THAT YOU CAN DO AND GET AWAY WITH, WITHOUT HAVING TO CROSS YOUR PAYMENT LIMIT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE. REAL MEN NEVER CARE ABOUT SOCIAL APPROPRIATENESS. YOU'D RATHER KISS HER LIPS? OR YOU WANT TO GRAB HER ASS? OR YOU WANT TO RUB YOUR FACE IN HER CLEAVAGE? GO RIGHT AHEAD, AS LONG AS THE PAYMENT IS NOT TOO HIGH FOR YOU!
FOR SOME WUSSY GUYS MERELY LOSING THEIR "GOOD GUY" IMAGE WITH THE FEMALE IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT. FOR MOST DECENT GUYS, GETTING SLAPPED IN PUBLIC IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT (MIGHT BE OKAY IN PRIVATE, ESPECIALLY IF THE SLAP LEADS TO SOME ROUGH BOINKAGE). FOR SOME GUYS GETTING JAILED IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT. THERE ARE GUYS WHO ARE EVEN WILLING TO GO TO JAIL, BUT GOING FOR LIFE OR GETTING KILLED IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT.
WHAT IS YOUR PAYMENT LIMIT? THAT SHOULD HELP YOU DECIDE WHAT TO DO.
HTH
PS: SOMETIMES WHEN YOU SEE A REALLY HOT RIDE OR WHEN YOU THINK YOU GOT A REALLY GOOD HAND, IT IS OKAY TO TAKE A CHANCE AND MAX OUT YOUR LIMIT. THAT IS WHAT REALLY SUCCESSFUL MEN DO.
directed mostly towards women, but if you have been here in the US for a while and quite social, men may chip in too.
When a woman puts her cheek forward, are you supposed to kiss on the cheek or just touch with your cheek. This is for someone you don't know well but are friendly.
Y CHROMOSOME Answers:
WHEN IT COMES TO SOCIAL ETIQUETTE, THERE IS ONLY ONE RULE FOR MEN: WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH. ABBREVIATED AS WYCGAW, PRONOUNCED AS WHY-SEE-GAA!
THE FULL FORM OF THE RULE IS: WHAT YOU CAN GET AWAY WITH, WITHOUT PAYING TOO MUCH.
WE KNOW WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL US THAT. BUT THE QUESTION IS WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO PAY? IT IS NO DIFFERENT FROM SHOPPING LOGIC. MEN ARE LOGICAL SHOPPERS. SO THE LOGIC OF SOCIAL ETIQUETTE MUST NOT BE TOUGH FOR THEM EITHER.
FIRST DECIDE HOW MUCH PAYMENT IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT FOR YOU PERSONALLY. ONCE YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT FOR YOU, DO THE MAX THAT YOU CAN DO AND GET AWAY WITH, WITHOUT HAVING TO CROSS YOUR PAYMENT LIMIT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT IS SOCIALLY APPROPRIATE. REAL MEN NEVER CARE ABOUT SOCIAL APPROPRIATENESS. YOU'D RATHER KISS HER LIPS? OR YOU WANT TO GRAB HER ASS? OR YOU WANT TO RUB YOUR FACE IN HER CLEAVAGE? GO RIGHT AHEAD, AS LONG AS THE PAYMENT IS NOT TOO HIGH FOR YOU!
FOR SOME WUSSY GUYS MERELY LOSING THEIR "GOOD GUY" IMAGE WITH THE FEMALE IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT. FOR MOST DECENT GUYS, GETTING SLAPPED IN PUBLIC IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT (MIGHT BE OKAY IN PRIVATE, ESPECIALLY IF THE SLAP LEADS TO SOME ROUGH BOINKAGE). FOR SOME GUYS GETTING JAILED IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT. THERE ARE GUYS WHO ARE EVEN WILLING TO GO TO JAIL, BUT GOING FOR LIFE OR GETTING KILLED IS TOO MUCH PAYMENT.
WHAT IS YOUR PAYMENT LIMIT? THAT SHOULD HELP YOU DECIDE WHAT TO DO.
HTH
PS: SOMETIMES WHEN YOU SEE A REALLY HOT RIDE OR WHEN YOU THINK YOU GOT A REALLY GOOD HAND, IT IS OKAY TO TAKE A CHANCE AND MAX OUT YOUR LIMIT. THAT IS WHAT REALLY SUCCESSFUL MEN DO.
Friday, July 21, 2006
DEALING WITH WOMEN - BAD, WORSE, WORST!
BAD - HOT CHICK WHO IS FRIENDLY WITH YOU, BUT IS TOO INNOCENT TO REALIZE THE EFFECT SHE IS HAVING ON YOU. SO, SHE CONTINUES TO BE CLOSE AND FRIENDLY TO YOU, YOU CONTINUE TO FEEL ALL TEMPTED AND FRUSTRATED. AND AS IF THAT’S NOT ENOUGH, YOU ALSO FEEL GUILTY AND SLEAZY!
WORSE - HOT CHICK WHO IS FRIENDLY WITH YOU, REALIZES THE EFFECT SHE IS HAVING ON YOU, YET INSISTS ON TRYING TO MAINTAIN A "CLEAN, FRIENDLY" RELATIONSHIP. WTF! WHY CAN'T SHE GO FIND SOME OTHER LOSER TO BE HER FRIEND?
WORST - HOT CHICK WHO IS FRIENDLY WITH YOU, KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT EFFECT SHE HAS ON YOU, DELIBERATELY KEEPS TEMPTING, TEASING AND USING YOU (FOR HER SECRET AMUSEMENT, SELF-FLATTERY, SELF-VALIDATION, AND FOR PRACTICAL USES LIKE HOMEWORK HELP, DRIVING HER TO PLACES, ETC.). SHE NEVER GIVES YOU ANYTHING WORTHWHILE AND ALL THE TIME PRETENDS TO BE INNOCENT OF WHAT SHE IS DOING TO YOU, THE COCKTEASE!
BAD - A WOMAN WHO IS LATE TO A MEETING OR SCREWS UP A TASK.
WORSE - A WOMAN WHO IS LATE TO A MEETING OR SCREWS UP A TASK, AND BLAMES IT ON THE BAD DAY OR MORNING SHE'S BEEN HAVING.
WORST - A WOMAN WHO IS LATE OR SCREWS UP, BLAMES IT ON THE DAY, AND CONTINUES TO BE GRUMPY/B*TCHY WITH YOU!
BAD - GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH AN EMOTIONAL WOMAN.
WORSE - GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH AN EMOTIONAL WOMAN AND TRYING TO LOGICALLY REASON WITH HER.
WORST - GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH AN EMOTIONAL WOMAN, AND TRYING TO LOGICALLY REASON WITH HER, WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO STOP YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CARE TOO MUCH FOR HER, AND JUST CAN'T ASK HER TO GO TO HELL, AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR TASK / DAY / LIFE.
BAD - BEING INVOLVED WITH TWO CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME.
WORSE - THE TWO CHICKS KNOWING THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH BOTH OF THEM.
WORST - CALLING ONE CHICK BY THE OTHER CHICK'S NAME, IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT... I MEAN, HEAT OF AN ARGUMENTATIVE MOMENT! ;-)
BAD - ARROGANT, IMPOLITE BITCH OF A WOMAN.
WORSE - ARROGANT, IMPOLITE BITCH OF A WOMAN GOING THROUGH PMS.
WORST - BEING STUCK ON A WEEKEND TRIP WITH SAID ARROGANT, IMPOLITE BITCH OF A WOMAN GOING THROUGH PMS, WHILE SHE IS FREQUENTLY ON THE PHONE WITH HER BF FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME, BY TURNS FIGHTING WITH HIM, WHINING AT HIM, CRYING ON HIM AND THEN TAKING IT ALL ON YOU DURING THE INTERVALS BETWEEN PHONE CALLS.
Added on 11-28-2006:
BAD - A WOMAN WHO HAS A NEW HUSBAND AND JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT HIM.
WORSE - A WOMAN WHO HAS A STEADY BF, AND JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THE ISSUES, BOTH GOOD AND BAD, SHE HAS WITH HIM.
WORST - A WOMAN WHO IS DATING EVERY TOM, HARRY AND OTHER ASSORTED DICKS, AND JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT HER OWN SEX AND THE CITY SAGA.
MORE TO COME... ADD YOUR OWN.
WORSE - HOT CHICK WHO IS FRIENDLY WITH YOU, REALIZES THE EFFECT SHE IS HAVING ON YOU, YET INSISTS ON TRYING TO MAINTAIN A "CLEAN, FRIENDLY" RELATIONSHIP. WTF! WHY CAN'T SHE GO FIND SOME OTHER LOSER TO BE HER FRIEND?
WORST - HOT CHICK WHO IS FRIENDLY WITH YOU, KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT EFFECT SHE HAS ON YOU, DELIBERATELY KEEPS TEMPTING, TEASING AND USING YOU (FOR HER SECRET AMUSEMENT, SELF-FLATTERY, SELF-VALIDATION, AND FOR PRACTICAL USES LIKE HOMEWORK HELP, DRIVING HER TO PLACES, ETC.). SHE NEVER GIVES YOU ANYTHING WORTHWHILE AND ALL THE TIME PRETENDS TO BE INNOCENT OF WHAT SHE IS DOING TO YOU, THE COCKTEASE!
BAD - A WOMAN WHO IS LATE TO A MEETING OR SCREWS UP A TASK.
WORSE - A WOMAN WHO IS LATE TO A MEETING OR SCREWS UP A TASK, AND BLAMES IT ON THE BAD DAY OR MORNING SHE'S BEEN HAVING.
WORST - A WOMAN WHO IS LATE OR SCREWS UP, BLAMES IT ON THE DAY, AND CONTINUES TO BE GRUMPY/B*TCHY WITH YOU!
BAD - GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH AN EMOTIONAL WOMAN.
WORSE - GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH AN EMOTIONAL WOMAN AND TRYING TO LOGICALLY REASON WITH HER.
WORST - GETTING INTO AN ARGUMENT WITH AN EMOTIONAL WOMAN, AND TRYING TO LOGICALLY REASON WITH HER, WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO STOP YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU CARE TOO MUCH FOR HER, AND JUST CAN'T ASK HER TO GO TO HELL, AND MOVE ON WITH YOUR TASK / DAY / LIFE.
BAD - BEING INVOLVED WITH TWO CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME.
WORSE - THE TWO CHICKS KNOWING THAT YOU ARE INVOLVED WITH BOTH OF THEM.
WORST - CALLING ONE CHICK BY THE OTHER CHICK'S NAME, IN THE HEAT OF THE MOMENT... I MEAN, HEAT OF AN ARGUMENTATIVE MOMENT! ;-)
BAD - ARROGANT, IMPOLITE BITCH OF A WOMAN.
WORSE - ARROGANT, IMPOLITE BITCH OF A WOMAN GOING THROUGH PMS.
WORST - BEING STUCK ON A WEEKEND TRIP WITH SAID ARROGANT, IMPOLITE BITCH OF A WOMAN GOING THROUGH PMS, WHILE SHE IS FREQUENTLY ON THE PHONE WITH HER BF FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME, BY TURNS FIGHTING WITH HIM, WHINING AT HIM, CRYING ON HIM AND THEN TAKING IT ALL ON YOU DURING THE INTERVALS BETWEEN PHONE CALLS.
Added on 11-28-2006:
BAD - A WOMAN WHO HAS A NEW HUSBAND AND JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT HIM.
WORSE - A WOMAN WHO HAS A STEADY BF, AND JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THE ISSUES, BOTH GOOD AND BAD, SHE HAS WITH HIM.
WORST - A WOMAN WHO IS DATING EVERY TOM, HARRY AND OTHER ASSORTED DICKS, AND JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT HER OWN SEX AND THE CITY SAGA.
MORE TO COME... ADD YOUR OWN.
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